Hope in Christ

                One of the things that I have noticed in my efforts to develop the Christ-like attribute of Hope is that hope is very fragile. Just when you think that you have a grasp on keeping hope in your heart something comes along to challenge that strength. One thing that I have had to come to grips with is that we only grow though trials. I have had many trials in my life and only when I get to a point that I can look back do I realize that I did grow and learn from a trial. The trick is to have hope in the middle of the pain and darkness. I have been able to develop hope through recent trials by looking to Christ to make me able to bare it. As I look outward to him and to my family I feel empowered that together we can get through it. I have learned that if I read my scriptures and pray always I have the ability to turn to Christ for his enabling power. I have learned not to turn in on myself but to look outward and gain strength. In the past I have closed myself off to the Lord and to my family. I found that this was a dark and lonely place, a place that Satan had much power over me, discouraging me from having hope and moving forward.

                It has made all the difference in the world as I work to develop hope and faith in my Savior and my Father in Heaven. I am doing the things that make developing hope as an attribute possible. The little things like scripture study, prayer, and service to others and in the church have helped me stay on the path to making this attribute strong in my heart. Only a year ago this was not the case. I struggled every day with having hope for the future.  I had intense depression and self-doubt in myself and my marriage. I didn’t know how to find the strength to keep working and striving to be a daughter of God. Then the Lord led me to take the Pathway courses and this has made all the difference for me. I feel stronger and full of hope and faith. I know this came by immersing myself in the scriptures and the teachings of the prophets. I learned to make goals and to keep going forward. I now feel that I can continue to work to be a child of God and to return to him someday. The trials are still there and they keep coming like a never-ending river flowing against my swimming stroke, but now I feel that I have allowed the Savior to be with me and he gives me the power to keep swimming.

                Now I look at my life with hope and faith. I know that I can with the Saviors help return to that Father that gave me life. I know that I can make a difference in my life and the lives of my family. I have a greater testimony of reading and studying the scriptures. I have a greater testimony of the plan that the Lord has for me. I am willing to accept the path that he has put before me. I feel stronger in the face of heartache and distress. I have learned to turn to my Savior for the gift of the comforter. I have faith that he will be beside me always. My heart is open to accepting the things that he wants me to learn.

                I have grown closer to my Savior as I strive to keep hope burning bright in my life. I feel that I know him better than I did before. My love for my Savior has increased and I can feel that he loves me. I know that my Father in Heaven lives and loves me. I know that he has hope in me and in my family. I know that he knows what we need if it be in blessings or trials. I have learned to look at my life in a positive light, despite the mistakes and the sour notes. I have learned that even mistakes can be a learning experience. Nobody is perfect, but He wants us to strive to be like him and to become perfect. It is only by walking through the bad times can we know the sweetness of the good. I have hope that someday I will run into his arms and He will greet me with a loving kiss and a heavenly hug.